Overwhelmed by Anemoia; I waste away

I truly am fortune's fool. Condemned and betrayed by those dreams which guided me into the absent arms of the one I can never find nor keep. The one I long to walk beside, hand in hand, and heart with heart.

In fortune's twisted pleasure my soul is used as a toy used by a child. With no remorse and savage force, the fates mocked my every desire.

Fate laughs, as my heart weeps.

Her smile, her laugh, her presence, I would call to in my darkest nights. My fear and pain melted by the imagined feel of her touch. Condemned to huddle with only a fatalistic certainty to stave off the cold oppression of life without my angel by my side.

I am fortune's fool. I looked toward eternity with her. Searching for her so long, I failed.. and as time passed her wings wilted and her halo faded.

Condemned to bear witness as the one I've sought for so long almost certainly departs.. lifting her gaze.. spreading her wings, leaving me breathless. Unable to call to her in a time my words so valuable. I am fortune's fool.

Oh misery, my mistress, you stood outside her glow, biding your time until I had lost my sight, and your webbed claws have taken hold. Oh sorrow, my companion, you stood beyond the shadows, wailing in contempt, as the hope of an embrace of an unfound love banished my demons to the furthest reaches of hades. And now you return and take my hand, leading a me back to darkness.

Fate laughs, as my heart weeps.

Will I ever uncover the only jewel of which I never saw an equal. Her eyes, her heart, her spirit, all sore beyond my withering grasp. So close yet far from me, she sails to heights I cannot follow. My fingertips clinging to a lone feather which flutters to me from her angels wings. It causes fire and pain deep with my soul. For destiny betrothed me no such grace and honor to have my angel by my side eternal. Has she absconded to the embrace of another? One who will not meander, believing they have forever.... But will make haste in granting her every last wish. And spending their time in the present, rather than trying to predict things to come.

I bellow, fists to the heavens, why must fortune mock my heart? The interloper's minions cackle and slither, their hands aided in my anguish. I search for my muse, my princess, my heart's desire.. alas finding only the wretched who would loath our joy and happiness, that they not obtain it themselves. I struggle, I writhe I lift my eyes up to eternity.

As I watch my angel, my treasure, my missing piece.. ascend this purgatory, I weep for myself in sadness, as I weep for her in joy. Farewell I bid to the object of my dreams saudade.. my heart's longing.. my souls yearning. I wish you find the happiness, that which we did not find together. These fiends & vile creatures my only company, their plot to ruin successful, I lay freezing and broken, but for the hopeful dreams of my angel somewhere searching for me, will always keep my soul warm.. just.. a little.. longer.

Where are you?.. For you do not carry in your possession, rather you are the missing piece of my soul. And I wish to claim that which is mine across an infinity of infinity.